HILLBILLY MEDICAL TERMS

Benign What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria.
Barium What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan Searching for the cat.
Cauterize Made eye contact with her.
Colic A sheep dog.
Coma A punctuation mark.
D&C Where Washington is.
Dilate To live longer than your kids do.
Enema Not a friend.
Fester Quicker than someone else.
Fibula A small lie.
G.I.Series World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail What you hang your coat on.
Hospital The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.
Impotent Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Morbid A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates.
Node I knew it.
Outpatient A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear A fatherhood test.
Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative A letter carrier.
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery.
Secretion Hiding something.
Seizure Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
Tablet A small table to change babies on.
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor More than one.
Urine Opposite of mine.
Varicose Near by.

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